The first time I ever did it was with Lily when we were in third grade. We were laying on my bed watching the episode of Tiny Toons where Buster Bunny takes all this food and stuffs Babs until her belly gets really huge and she can't move. I took one of the pillows from my bed and stuffed it in my shirt. Lily did the same thing, and we pretended to be really fat and we bumped our bellies together.
I would stuff myself with pillows once in awhile because it felt so good. One time I was doing it alone in my room and my mom walked in.
Danica, you're so silly. Take that pillow out. You'll ruin the shirt that I just bought you.
I was ashamed, so after that, I was careful not to let anyone see me pillow stuffing. I didn't want to disobey my mom, but the fact that it was forbidden made it all the more alluring. When I felt like doing it, I waited patiently until I knew I wouldn't be disturbed. I had two pillows on my bed, one for my belly and one for my butt. I had an old pair of sweatpants and a plain t-shirt to wear while I was stuffing myself. I always hoped that I would get more pillows, but I knew that my mom would figure it out. Like if all of a sudden there were four or five pillows on my bed, I would die of embarrassment just knowing that she would say something.
When I in high school we used to have these big parties where all the girls would swap clothes. There was this girl, Karen Schmidt, who was really fat, and since the clothes were all jumbled up, I got one of Karen's extra-large tops when no one was looking. It was a sheer mauve blouse, and I was so excited that I went right home after the party and tried it on with a pillow inside. It felt so good when I ran my hands up and down the pillow, squeezing and caressing it.
I just started my first year of college at State Polytechnic University. The girls on my floor of the North freshmen dorm are all nice. So far there's Gwen, my roommate; Becky, a tall blonde lacrosse player; Esther, who's from Korea, very skinny; and Claire, a sociology major, chubby but very pretty. The girls in my dorm went on a shopping trip to Bed Bath and Beyond to get nice stuff to decorate our drab dorm rooms. I was getting nice towels and soap when I noticed that they had a whole section for pillows. My heart raced. I went to get five of the biggest, softest down pillows ever made.
Wow Danica. You got enough pillows there? asked Becky. Caught off guard, I started to feel anxious.
Oh, you know, you can never have too many pillows. I said.
Ooh you're right, I think I'll get some, she said, heading towards the pillow section.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Eventually I got back to the dorm with my treasures. My roommate Gwen and I had written our schedules and phone numbers on a dry erase board, so we could always be in touch. When I felt like stuffing I checked the schedule to make sure she was out. I started to do it but there wasn't enough room in my old clothes so I didn't know what to do and gave up. I went to the Goodwill near the campus but the clothes there were all gross. Meanwhile I had a lot of book buying to do and classes to attend so I started to forget about it. But one day, sitting in Introductory Art History, I had the strongest desire to stuff. I felt like all those thick, luxurious pillows were just going to waste sitting in my closet. But I just had to wait.
Our group went to the mall on Friday. We were already tightly knit, and did everything together. So it kind of surprised me when Claire said she was going to the bathroom, but disappeared before we could all go with her. I asked Becky where she went.
She probably went to Lane Bryant.
Lane Bryant? I asked.
It's where all the fat chicks shop, she said. She probably like didn't want us to go with her. It's kind of embarrassing. Suddenly I knew what to do.
Look, its Nate from down the hall, I said. I have to go talk to him real quick. It really was Nate, too. The mall was filled with students from our college. I left the group and said hi to Nate. My plan was to flirt with him until Claire would be leaving Lane Bryant. For some reason Nate wasn't really that friendly to me. Right when I was running out of things to say to him, Claire found me.
Hey Danica, hey Nate, she said. Where's the rest of our crew?
They're at Express, I said. I'll catch up to you guys in just a minute.
Then I left Nate and ran to Lane Bryant. I rehearsed my lines, preparing to tell the clerk that I was just buying a gift for a friend. I picked out a huge pair of jeans, some enormous panties, a bra, a top and a dress. At the checkout was this gorgeous black girl with huge hips. She was really nice and didn't even say anything to me about the clothes. Then I put the Lane Bryant bag inside my Nordstrom bag from earlier and ran to catch up with my crew.
I almost couldn't wait to try on my new clothes. I stuffed two whole pillows into the rear of my fabulous new panties and put on my jeans. Then I stuffed more and more pillows into my top and rolled up blankets and towels for my arms and calves and to make huge triple E breasts. When I was done I could hardly get up. I walked around the dorm room, feeling my belly jiggle and caressing my enormous breasts. I was so caught up that I didn't even hear the door opening, which in my haste I had forgotten to lock. It was Claire!
Hey, do you have the syllabus for Art History... Claire trailed off. I was speechless.
I..omigodyouprobablythinkI'msomekindoffreak...Idon'tusually...er I was on the verge of tears.
Oh, with the pillows, you mean, I used to do that all the time, she said. Don't worry about it, everyone does it. I sat down on the bed. Claire sat next to me.
Really? I said. I guess I don't feel so bad. Claire started to get up.
Wait. Why would you do it, you're already so... I stopped.
So fat? I know. I used to do it. But I don't have to anymore. I have a real belly, she said, pulling up her shirt to reveal an enormous expanse of fat. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I had the strongest, most irresistible urge to touch it, and I did. Claire put her hand on top of mine, and we rubbed her belly together. I quickly took my the pillows out of my clothes. Soon I was exploring Claire's body. As she held my thin figure, squeezing me between her thighs, I put my hands in the back pockets of her jeans, gripping her giant ass. Then she was on top of me, kissing me while all her weight pushed down on me. When we were done she said, Nice jeans. I bet those would fit me, and smiled.
Claire and I were soon best friends, and we hooked up constantly, like in the stairwells and in the dusty stacks of the library. One time we were talking in Claire's room.
Claire, you're so lucky to be as fat and pretty as you are. I wish I had a body like yours. All I have are my pillows.
I wasn't always like this. When I was little, I used to stuff myself with pillows too, because it made me feel so good. But somehow knew that it wasn't enough, that I had to really be fat. The idea just made me feel so beautiful and feminine. So worked on getting my weight up by stuffing myself every day, eating double portions at dinnertime, going to McDonald's, stuff like that. Here I'll show you. She went digging through a box, emerging with a photo album. Sure enough, she was a regular girl just like me. Then at thirteen she had a little bit of a belly. Each year, her breasts were bigger, her butt rounder, and her belly hung lower, until she was as fat as she is now. I couldn't believe it.
You mean, those pillows are just a replacement for real fatness?
Uh huh. You really want to gain weight, you just didn't know it. The pillows are just the way you express it when you're little.
So I can be fat like you if I gorge myself with real food? My head was spinning. On the one hand, what Claire was saying was repugnant, and ran against everything that I had been taught by my parents, by society, by everyone. I would be trying to gain weight, while everyone else was trying to lose it. On the other hand, it made so much sense. Part of me deep down inside believed her.
Well, it takes a lot of hard work. You have to be really determined to stuff yourself, she smiled. But I think you can do it. Let's go to the cafeteria, right now, give it a shot.
We went to the cafeteria. On the meal plan, you can eat as much as you want with one swipe of your card. The food is actually pretty good. I got a tray and a plate, and put a portion of red beans and rice on it.
Come on! Claire yelled. I know you can do better than that, she said as she used the serving spoon to double the amount of beans and rice on my plate. At every stop, Claire made me take more than usual, until my tray was so heavy with plates and food that I could barely carry it. Claire was also carrying a tray heavily laden with pizza, cookies, and pasta. And some salad greens.
They're good for the complexion, she said.
At first I wasn't sure I would be able to finish even half of my tray. But with Claire for support, I managed to clear the entire tray, down to the last crumb. My belly was intensely swollen, and I could barely get out of my seat. I felt sick, but also, strangely pleasant.
Do you think you can do that every day? asked Claire.
Ugh, I don't think I can do it, I said. But the next day Claire forced me to go to the caferia. Somehow I went, even though I didn't consciously want to.
Let's see, grilled cheese sandwiches, you'll want two of those. Vanilla milkshake, bowl of fetttucine alfredo, five chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies, six strips of bacon.
Eggplant parm? I asked.
God no, eggplant hardly has any calories, and the cheese is low-fat. When in doubt, pick something greasy, she said, building an enormous mound of hash browns on my plate, then another one on hers.
After lunch, Claire made me take a nap. Little secret, she said. Also, try to eat all day, not just at the regular meals. I know you like going to the gym, but try to make it no more than twice week, okay? Or never.
I nodded, then nodded off.
After a week I noticed that my tummy was feeling a little rounder. I talked with Claire at the cafeteria, where I was spending more and more time.
So, are you like, you know...
A lesbian? Claire laughed. Actually, I'm kind of bi. What turns me on is seeing you get chubbier, she said, pinching my belly. I smiled. But I really like boys, also.
Isn't it harder to get guys, though? Because I like boys too, only I'm worried they won't ask me out.
Actually no, you just have to know what to look for. She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial tone. See that guy, third table to the left, green shirt?
I was looking at a black guy with a mohawk.
Black guys with mohawks? I asked I never would have thought...
No, light green shirt.
Right. I was looking at skinny guy with dark brown hair, wearing a Ultravox t-shirt. Light green.
Kevin Kelvin. Nerd. Obscure British band t-shirt, dialectical studies major. He's in my sociology class. He got really nervous when I talked to him the other day. You can always tell.
Just because he's nervous doesn't mean he likes you. Maybe he's just shy, I postulated.
Also, huge boner. You don't get that just from being shy.
I was doing my laundry one Saturday afternoon when Claire called me. She said we had to run the gauntlet.
Don't worry, there's no running involved. That just burns precious calories, she said.
Anyway, you know Hill Street, the one with all the restaurants? I didn't.
Oh, just you wait.
We took the shuttle to Hill Street. I looked up at it in all its glory. There was a McDonald's right next to a Burger King, situated by a Chipotle, a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Panera.
Alright, we have to go to each restaurant and have one full meal at each. How do you want to do it?
Well, Panera is kind of light, so we'll start there to easy our way into things. Then we'll do McDonald's, KFC, and Burger King, to split up the burgers. Then Chipotle is last because it's so good, I said.
Hmm, very good.
At Panera I had the Frontega Chicken Panini on rosemary and onion focaccia bread, but I ordered the apple before I remembered you could get chips, and by then it was too late. Claire said I'd just have to make up for it at Mickey D's.
At McDonald's, I had a Big Mac with Fries and a Chocolate Milkshake, all super-sized. Claire had the fish sandwich with fries and a salad. It all went down very easily. By KFC I was in my stride and polished off a nine piece bucket of fried chicken. Claire wiped the grease off my chin with her napkin.
Three down, two to go, she remarked. But by Burger King it seemed as if we couldn't finish the gauntlet, and I barely finished my Whopper, fries, and coke. Though I had looked forward to Chipotle, I now dreaded it.
I'm just going to get a salad here, I said, holding my belly.
Oh no you don't. It's against the rules.
You had a salad at McDonald's.
And a fish sandwich. Besides, I don't need to gain weight, I'm already sexy.
All right. So I ordered one of their colossal burritos with rice and chicken. Claire went to the bathroom. The burrito was even bigger that I remembered. I got halfway through, but every bite was like climbing up a mountain.
Think of how fat you'll be, said Claire. But it wasn't working. So she forced the rest of the burrito into my mouth, and I finished it off.
Great! she yelled. I asked her if the burrito wasn't unusually big.
My friend works here, and I asked him to make it extra big for you, since I told him it was your birthday. I laughed.
Guess what Claire, I gained 15 pounds already.
Hmm, the dreaded Freshmen 15 in record time, she remarked.
Claire, I said, in a hushed tone. When I'm done they're going to have to call it, Freshmen 50. She smiled.
Every day I worked hard at stuffing myself. One Wednesday, I thought I'd be going to class. But I looked at my clock and noticed that I had slept through my alarm. I was already fifteen minutes late. I decided to go back to sleep. I got up around 11 and lounged around in my pajamas, with my belly now hanging over the waist. I ate leftover Chinese food for breakfast. Then I baked some brownies and watched TV. At three Claire came over and we watched Pretty Woman while feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries. I guess Gwen thought we were kind of weird, but she watched the ending with us anyway and ate two of the strawberries. I asked her if she wanted more.
No, that's alright. I'm sort of on a diet, she remarked, somewhat sadly. Claire and I exchanged glances, then burst into laughter when she left.
We're on a diet, too. Chocolate strawberry diet, I said, finishing the last one.
By midterms I was noticing that my bras didn't really fit, and my butt was so much rounder that just sitting down was a pleasure. My belly wasn't big enough to tuck into my jeans, at least not yet. Of course I couldn't wear the clothes I had bought at Lane Bryant, but I looked at them longingly and envisioned myself chubby enough to fit them. But I had gained enough weight that I had to do some shopping, so Claire went with me to the mall.
You're not fat enough for LB. Although I can't wait until you are, she said, licking the nape of my neck. We can probably find you some nice clothes in the larger sizes at Express. And we did, loading up on sexy tops and turquoise panties.
Near the end of the semester I reached my goal of the Freshmen 50. Claire said she couldn't take her eyes off me. We met in her room while her roommate was at band practice and rubbed our chubby bellies together while kissing. I promised her that I wouldn't stop gaining until I was super-sized, which just made her hornier.
I was sitting in the cafeteria, with my big gut spilling over into my lap, eating my fourth slice of pizza when I saw Nate looking at me. Every time I turned towards, him he buried his head in his mech-e textbook.
He been talking to me more and more all semester. I motioned for him to come over, and he had this look on his face like his dreams had come true.
Hi Danica. His left leg started twitching as I slowly downed a spoonful of chocolate ice cream.
How great was that party last night, where that Asian guy beat every stage of DDR, on the hardest difficulty, while blindfolded, I said, to break the ice.
Yeah that was awesome. He was drunk too. Edmund Wu, he's in my stat class. We talked about random stuff until I decided to push Nate a little further.
Hey remember that time at the mall, you hardly had anything to say to me. And now we're getting along like best friends.
Well, er... He started sweating. It's just that, sometimes it takes a long time, to get to know someone... I stared into his eyes. Well, that's not it really, it's just that...
I have this thing, right, where I don't like girls who are really... skinny... I actually think they're kind of gross. I know it's kind of weird, right, but I like girls, who are, you know, more, rounder, roundish...So when you were so skinny, I'm couldn't even talk to you, but now, I think you're really pretty. Only if like you gained weight when you didn't want to, I could understand if you're not happy about it...
Oh, I'm quite happy about it...I like gaining weight.
You...like gaining weight?
I ate another spoonful of ice cream, slowly and sensually. I think we should hang out more. Why don't we go for a walk. Here, hold my hand. Nate wiped the sweat from his brow, then took my hand in his.
Claire and Kevin Kelvin are going to see Police Academy 8 tonight, and I promised her I'd come. Perhaps you'll come with me? Would you like that?
I think I'd like that very much.